I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
