I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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