did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
