If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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