But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I had to cum in my sink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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