If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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