and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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