is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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