Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
