Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
