I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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