umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
