she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
