I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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