I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
