Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
