I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
