Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
