You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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