Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
