i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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