I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
