She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just googled if crying burns calories
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
