Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My balls are so social today.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
