Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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