is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
