Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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