We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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