I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's not cheating when I paid for it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
