Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
