thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize