If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
