there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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