dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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