Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
