In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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