While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize