k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
