I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
