Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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