Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
