Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
