he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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