Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
