He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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