i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
