at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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