Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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