Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry alwheeler7 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

Fav 25 4641 1067
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

Fav 27 10632 1168
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

Fav 28 1023 6407
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her

Fav 3 2156 1114
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

Fav 2 913 1236
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

Fav 14 2454 1194
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?

Fav 2 433 1014
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.

Fav 1 47 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

How are you and the lady friend?

(336): View more from North Carolina

Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.

Fav 0 79 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT