somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
