what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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