were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
