i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
