So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
