plz talk dirty to me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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