Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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