He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
