That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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