If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
