Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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