this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
