The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize