sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
